Try It On

A spiritual practice of living

If you’ve ever loved a child who has amplified sensory-attention, you know what a difficulty it can be to find clothes that they like. My daughter is this way, harboring two distinct desires each time she gets dressed—find the fanciest, princess-iest dress in her room at the time, but also be completely comfortable with no itchy-scratchies and definitely no waistbands touching her stomach.

This is by no means a major hindrance in our lives, but it makes for a little more attention to detail in the choosing of clothes than I have for my son who regularly walks around with his pants, underwear, and shirts on backwards because he “likes it that way.”

I’ve been pondering, though, the mind-body connection needed in our spiritual formation journeys and my theory is that we, collectively as humans, are much more like my daughter in the living of the good life promised to us in scripture.

Here is a glimpse into most mornings into my home: I ask Leona to get dressed. She immediately runs to her closet (where her dresses are housed) and asks to wear a “fancy” dress. Then ensues a conversation about the day’s plans, and an honest assessment of whether a fancy dress is appropriate for the occasion. She then generally runs through at least two different outfit options.

I can tell almost immediately if she’s rejecting the feel of something on her body. First her eyes dart away from mine, her foot stamps into the floor, and her head rolls back in protest. Each time this happens, I ask her to put the piece of clothing into the “giveaway” pile or the trash can but she’s always adamant that she doesn’t want to get rid of it. So, naturally, we’ll fight the same fight about this same piece of clothing another day.

“So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.” Colossians 3:12-14, MSG

It turns out, Paul also saw the connection between getting dressed and being formed into the image of Christ. Personally, I get a lot of clarity on my own spiritual journey when I consider my daughter’s dressing habits.

The desire is there—or, to quote another Biblical phrase, “the spirit is willing.” I want so badly to wear my fancy clothes for an everyday jaunt to the grocery store. I want to proudly twirl in my Godly garments not just at church but in the mundane and meaningful alike.

But, because I’m also highly committed to comfort and ease, I find these clothes uncomfortable and impractical. I just as soon take them off when I notice the discomfort in my inner world which wonders immediately about this godliness and its usefulness for survival in this broken world.

And so, I’ve been working through an internal shift that helps me remain committed to spiritual formation and working through the discomfort and I wanted to share that with you all today in hopes that it will help you like it helps me.

In all honesty, the clothing metaphor breaks down if we walk it too far. Ultimately, practical clothes are good and I do wish my daughter would be just as proud to wear her scruffy play clothes as she is to wear a sparkly princess dress… But, in the kingdom of heaven our Godly clothes ARE the best option. As Eugene Peterson paraphrased in the Message version of Colossians quoted above, it’s the “wardrobe God picked out” for us. So, it’s worth it to work through the discomfort and remain in the clothes that initially feel so uncomfortable.

One of the ways I try to challenge my daughter’s resistance to discomfort is to ask her to stay in her clothing choice for at least 5 minutes. I ask her to find out if it’s uncomfortable because it’s different, or if it’s truly something she doesn’t want on her body.

The principle for me in the spiritual formation realm is similar: when I am faced with a scriptural truth, a Biblical mandate, a character trait of God that I hope to embody, I now contemplate a series of “try ons” to ease my heart back into it’s God-image.

Start with the internal.

Before I walk out of the house in this Godly clothing, I first take some time to meditate on what it would look like, feel like, sound like in my body and life to embody a certain characteristic of Christ. I ask myself—how would I live if this were true about me? What would feel different as I go about my day?

Often time this internal meditation reveals fears and other sticky-sin spots in my heart that make Christlikeness uncomfortable. I realize how much I desire to stay in control of my own life, and how difficult it is to faithfully consider a new way of being in the world.

Ultimately, this internal fitting room gives me the insight I need about where my heart might need mending, stretching, or strengthening to fit well into the clothing God intends for me. It provides me with a starting point for prayer, meditation, and reflection with the Lord.

Stretch and Strengthen.

I know each one of us is intimately acquainted with the feeling of putting on a pair of jeans fresh out of the dryer. The dance that accompanies the attempt to shimmy into the snug denim is generally worthy of an Instagram Reel or two… Finally, as the jeans slide into place on your body and you pull the button through the loop on the other side of the waistband, a series of stretches, lunges, and knee-hikes ensues to create a bit more space for the activities of the day.

As I mentioned earlier, in our internal reflection about putting on a particular article of Godly clothing, we might notice that our own hearts need to stretch, lunge, or knee hike to create space for these new ways of living in our lives.

This is where creativity and collaboration with the Holy Spirit comes in. Of course, we have a whole slew of spiritual disciplines that are designed for this very purpose—things the church has been practicing for thousands of years to make space for the Holy Spirit to work and move in our hearts. These practices are generally, prayer, study, fasting, celebration, service, and more.

But, I think the Holy Spirit can get playful and creative with us in this realm, too, if we let Him. Take for example a recent spiritual formation endeavor in my own life:

In the thick of raising three very young children, I found myself reacting in big, harsh anger much more frequently than I aspired to. I would read scriptures on gentleness, pray for peace in my heart, and still somehow find myself losing control at least a couple of times a week. In tears I wrestled with this as I heard evidence of my children taking note of this pattern of behavior, desperate for something to shift.

After some reflection, I realized that in these moments my pre-frontal cortex was fervently “offline.” In other words, my brain was (is—we’re still not perfect) not operating from a place of logic, intention, or regulation. Instead, something about this was triggering my body into survival mode—and apparently my body prefers “fight” when the threats are my dearly loved tiny humans and their chaos. I noticed that in the moments that lead up to my anger explosions, I would start moving very quickly. My pace and breath would quicken almost simultaneously, I’d start tossing the dishes I was washing or the laundry I was folding. Everything turned to hyper-speed, and before I knew it I was lashing out.

So, through collaborative prayer and some meditation time in yoga class, I resolved to practice moving slowly. First, in yoga and random times throughout the day to start the stretching process. Then, touching base with myself throughout the day as I noticed my pace begin to quicken, I’d gently remind myself to move slowly and join hands with the Father as I do.

This process hasn’t resulted in ZERO anger outbursts from me, but in the months I’ve been practicing this slow movement, I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve lost control, and the intensity each time has decreased. I can’t tell you what your dance will look like to get into your Godly clothes, but I encourage you to really be self-reflective and work with the Lord to find some movement that is helpful.

I wrote in a bit more detail on this topic here if you want to read more.

Contemplative Prayer

I don’t know about you, but when I get a new article of clothing, it can take me weeks to be brave enough to wear it out of my house. When I do finally get the courage, it’s always in the safest and most-predictable combinations. A brightly colored or patterned shirt will almost always be paired with jeans. I generally wear lot’s of neutrals to balance out my discomfort with the newness of whatever I’ve purchased—especially if it’s something different than what I usually wear.

At first, we might feel a bit awkward donning our kind, peaceful, gentle, and honest clothing. We might not be quite sure how these pieces fit in with the rest of who we are. We might be questioning which parts of our personality are the very skin God gave us, or which parts are the parts we should be “throwing off.’’

As we move through this life with Christ, we may need to spend lots of time standing in front of the mirror with our new clothes on before we feel ready to venture out of jeans or neutrals-only combinations.

This is where contemplative prayer comes in handy.

It’s helpful to sit quietly before the Lord holding up the content of our lives, and asking him to reveal to us new possibilities, new combinations, new ways of wearing our Godly clothing. He may remind us of other things that pair well with his character in our lives, or finally embolden us to take off the accessories we’ve been clinging to for far too long.

Contemplative prayer is beautiful, especially, because God as our mirror means we receive the most grace-filled, love-drenched reflections back toward us. Even as we sit before him and come aware of things that make us cringe, he gently receives that shame and loves us through it.

I acknowledge that often-times the pace and content of our lives makes this sitting still feel unattainable. Personally, it’s been increasingly difficult to commit to contemplative prayer as I’m constantly wondering what tiny person is going to wake up too soon, need a drink of water, or start fighting with his sister.

But, friends, it’s worth it. This is the practice that takes our Godly clothing from being disjointed pieces of beautiful clothes to a cohesive wardrobe that works with the bodies we are in. We find out what kindness, humility, discipline, and compassion look like in our own lives, personalities, and circumstances. We will find new ways to express Kingdom in our daily living.

Soon, before we know it, we won’t even notice that waistband that used to bother us so badly. Instead, we’ll grab that well-loved humility shirt, and wear it with ease through our daily lives.

Spiritual formation can be a bit mysterious at times, but I’m finding that intentionality and creativity help me to live Kingdom more and more with each passing day. I’d love to know what creative ways you’ve found to try on and become comfortable in your Godly clothing! Let me know in the comments if you’ve got ideas!